As an EMT Basic you are required to get some real world experience before you are given a license to go and practice. So I decided to do mine at a ED in a well known toy hospital. I also did my rotation over Cinco De Mifflin weekend. The following are some stories and conversations that could have happened had I not been in the middle of no where that morning.
I was asked to take a seat in the waiting room because they were too busy to take me back. I sat there laughing to myself as I waited for my police escort back into the ED. Finally an officer came out and took me back to where I would be pacing for the next 9 hours. Yeah I worked 9 hour of an 8 hour shift. There I was introduced to Cool Nurse and White Haired Doctor. They then asked, what I was comfortable with doing, what I wanted to see, and what I wanted to do, what I was allowed to do.
Patient # 1
My first patient of the night was a Drunk Android. He was very intoxicated and had been brought in so that we could asses his minor cuts, and give him a tetanus booster before he went to charm school (detox).
Cool Nurse: Okay so your patient needs a tetanus booster.
ME: I can give the IM injection in the arm correct.
CN: Honey you can give it where ever you want he is in police custody and too drunk to care. Here it is, there are gloves and alcohol wipes in the room. Have fun and good luck.
ME: (To the 3 officers in the room with him.) I have to give him a shot now.
All 3 promptly left the room. And left me alone with the very drunk android who does not speak any English. The following is the exchange that happened using my limited binary.
ME: Hello my name is Freckles I need to give you a shot.
Drunk Android: NO!
ME: YES! It is necessary so you do not get sick. You are being naughty. Please!
DHM: Ok, fine.
At this point he stands up on the bed and takes his pants off so that I could give his the shot in his glutes.
ME: (Laughing and trying to speak Binary.). No! No! Your arm please.
The patient is also laughing at this point. As he pulls up his pants, sits down, rolls up his sleeve, and gives me the biggest smile
DHM: Thank you very much.
I quickly gave him the injection and left the room. The officers meanwhile had heard and seen everything that had been happening were cracking up in the hall right outside the room as I left victorious. I promptly offered to take care of all their patients that night. They had brought him in fighting mad and yelling and after me he stayed relatively quiet and waved every time I walked past his room.
My Second patient of the night was a female chimpanzee. Nothing too funny happened with the patient. She let me look at her foot which was being eaten away by flesh eating bacteria. She said that two days before it had been a small blister and not it was approximately 14cm in diameter and down to the bone in some places. She was really sweet and was looking on the bright side. She said luckily she has a lack of feeling in her feet due to the diabetes so told me it didn’t hurt very much at all. However as I was leaving A doctor walked in and was poking at it with a pen.
This conversation happened after I left the room and went to find my next victim I mean patient.
ME: Just so you know Young Doctor is poking that foot wound with a pen and not wearing gloves.
Nurse Who has Seen it ALL: Okay honey I will keep an eye on him when he comes out and I will make sure the pen is destroyed and everything he touched is disinfected.
ME: Thank you I was just making sure you knew that. Got anything else really cool for me?!!
NWSA: (shaking her head and laughing) Room 4 honey. You get to start this one alone so don't mess up.
ME: Score! Thanks I will see you soon.
The next patient had been brought in by Paramedics and I soon understood why I had been given this patient to start alone.
ME: Hello my name is Freckles and I am just going to ask you a few questions and take some vitals if that is ok with you.
Psych Patient: OOOHH It hurts and I cannot sleep I am so hungry and stuffed up.
ME: What hurts ma'am? I will let you sleep soon I just need to ask a few more questions. Why did you call 911 today?
PP: Me nose is stuffed up and the construction across the street wakes me up very early every morning. And I just feel like I cannot take care of myself anymore. I am hungry and the heater in my apartment does not work. And nobody cares about me they just think I am worthless. And my nose is stuffed up and I cannot breathe.
ME: (After glancing at the spO2 and her EKG tracing and seeing completely normal vitals. And looking at the doctor who is now in the room with me standing behind the curtain so she cannot see him.) And how long have you been stuffed up ma'am?
PP: Well it all started when I was 4. I got a cold. It never went away it went from my nose to my chest to me head to my left knee them my right foot. When I was 10 it finally move to my right elbow and my left pinky toe and it had stayed there ever since until about 2 years ago when it moved to my nose, head and chest again. And then the construction...
ME: (As I cut her off the doctor is behind the curtain listening and laughing to himself.) Ok well just a few questions...
PP: Me nose is stuffed up and the construction across the street wakes me up very early every morning. And I just feel like I cannot take care of myself anymore. I am hungry and the heater in my apartment does not work. And nobody cares about me they just think I am worthless. And my nose is stuffed up and I cannot breathe...
ME: How old are you ma'am?
PP: Me nose is stuffed up and the construction across the street wakes me up very early every morning. And I just feel like I cannot take care of myself anymore. I am hungry and the heater in my apartment does not work. And nobody cares about me they just think I am worthless. And my nose is stuffed up and I cannot breathe...
ME: Ok I have to go and talk to a doctor and check on some patients. I will turn out the light so you can be more comfortable.
At this point I was just trying to get out of the room before hitting the doctor and or cracking up. When we finally got out of there and had the door shut we both couldn't stop laughing until..
NWSA: So I should call for a Psych consult. (We both nod frantically and I wrote down the vitals I had obtained on her chart)
All of the sudden a Teddy bear walked right in to the ED through the ambulance entrance clutching his chest. Immediately the formerly calm and relaxed nurses moved into calm and you will do what I say the second I say it. He was escorted immediately into the trauma room. he was connected to a pulse oximeter and a BP cuff and a 12 lead EKG before he doctor made it all the way into the room(approximately 30 seconds).
NWSA (to patient): does your chest hurt? Is it hard to breathe? Is your heart pounding in your chest?
Teddy Bear: No only my shoulder hurts. It is not hard to breathe. my heart is only pounding because I am in pain and I do not like hospitals.
Cool Doctor: What is going on?
NWSA: patient walked in complaining of severe left chest pain, sweating profusely, and holding his shoulder. All his vitals look normal.
CD: sir where exactly does it hurt?
TB: My shoulder I have pinched nerve in my neck and I am going to physical therapy for it right now but it is so painful I cannot stand it.
At this point the doctor has a true heart attack roll in and he tell me and NWSA that we should evaluate and present to him in a couple of minutes. After talking to him and getting a history and good vital signs the doctor decided that we could administer phenergen and dilaudid.
ME: Hey I am really sorry about this but I am going to have to give you a shot in each arm to give you the medicines. Is that alright with you?
TBP: Yeah that is fine with me can you bring my boyfriend back for me?
At that moment NWSA brought his boyfriend into the room and then went to draw up the drugs while I got a final set of vitals before administration of the drugs.
Boy Friend: (apparently had a medical back gound but I cannot remember in what) So what are you giving him?
ME: Phenergen and Dilaudin
BF (to TB): You will feel fine very soon honey.
BF(to ME): So I know you are not a nurse what has you working here?
ME: I am an EMT student getting my patient contacts in.
BF and TB: That is so cool of you just so you know we appreciate it.
ME: Thanks. Ok I am going to clean your arms and give you these meds quickly so that you can feel better soon.
TB: OK
ME: Pinch and a burn.
OK.
Clean clean clean.
Pinch and a burn.
All done.
TB and BF: Thank you you are a very sweet girl. Do you mind if we call you girl.
ME: Nope that is fine I know I probably seem very young to you. For being such a good patient would you like a cool sticker?
TB: (Looking from BF to me and smiling) REALLY!!! Yeah.
ME: well there are lots of different kinds do you have a favorite animal.
TB: Teddy Bears.
ME: (Smiling and giggling to myself) Ok I will be right back with your stickers.
After giving them both really cool stickers, taking another set of vitals, and wishing them a good night. I left to go check on patients in other rooms, eat some food, and use the facilities. At this point it was 6 am and it was pretty much my first break and I had been pounding water from the ice machine all night.
And several less memorable patients and easy dispos later I left to go home and catch an hour nap before my first class of the day.
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